“I Have Cancer”

48 Things To Do When You Hear Those Words (Wisdom to Practice Book 1)

At least once in your life someone will say to you, “I have cancer,” and when these three words are spoken, you may struggle with a response. Twenty years ago a good friend informed me she had breast cancer. I didn’t know if I should be upbeat (telling her she would defeat it) or just hug her and say how sorry I was. I did what most people do. I said, “I’m so sorry,” a safe answer but not necessarily a helpful one.

Twelve years ago it was my turn. “You have prostate cancer,” the urologist said. “And it’s aggressive.” I don’t remember what I said to him, but I still become nauseous thinking of his four words. I was fifty-seven then. Death was still something theoretical, something that happened to other people– people of my parent’s generation.

Throughout my service to people living and dying from cancer, I heard that although they wanted to share their diagnosis, they were concerned how friends and loved ones would react. Often when they said, “I have cancer,” there was an awkward silence accompanied by a painful expression.

The purpose of this book is to help loved ones and friends understand what we are experiencing and what they can do to help us on our journey. You will learn 48 things to do that will support your loved one or friend on this unsettling journey you both will travel. The suggestions range from the simplicity of compassionate listening to the gut-wrenching preparation for death.


I wish there was a book like this one when I went through the cancer experience with my sister. When things are confusing and frightening, Stan’s insights are informative and comforting. –Maxine Kraemer, Caregiver

Provides a real world, unsentimental guide for how best to care for a loved one, or one’s self, when given a cancer diagnosis, from the 1st day, to the end of life. Very helpful- Ari D Baron, MD Chief, Hematology-Oncology California Pacific Medical Center

Having recently completed chemotherapy and radiation for lymphoma, this book “hit the nail on the head.” He approached this sensitive subject with clarity and care, giving specific ideas for support. This book should be required reading for anyone seeking ways to support someone facing this challenge. Maryann Chwalek, recently finished treatment for cancer

Brings insights and practical wisdom that can’t be found elsewhere. If you know anyone who has cancer read this book. If you have cancer, you will want to put it into the hands of all who may come in contact with you- Steven Evans, Senior Research Scientist Therapeutics Research Institute Omaha, NE

An excellent and comprehensive guideline that should be required reading for caregivers, family members, treating physicians, and even the patient himself-Charles (Chuck) Maack Prostate Cancer Activist/Mentor

Most of us don’t know how to begin the dialogue with a loved one or a friend who says “I have cancer”. This ebook provides us with heartfelt and compassionate guidance on how to “dance with the suffering.”-Greg Schneider, Founder & President Hospice Volunteer Association