Thought of the Day: Part 3 Grief Hierarchy- Reducing Grief

After a less than successful hip replacement I realized I couldn’t do an activity I loved for the past thirty years: four-wall handball. I never was a great handball player, A low “B” player at the most. My partners would say a “C at best.”
I had a choice: persist in playing handball believing in the future I would experience my past joy, or look to recreate the emotion in another way. Despite the orthopedic surgeon’s warning not to run again, I did and found the same emotions by running one mile at a slow speed as I did playing handball during my best days.
We expected when she died his grief would be inconsolable. And for awhile it was. Months later I heard he became a volunteer at a service organization for people with Alzheimer’s and once again viewed life with joy. It was fruitless searching for a woman with his wife’s attributes and a lifetime of shared experiences. But it was possible to find an activity to regenerate the emotions that created their bond.

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You’ve given me ‘food for thought’, Stan. In terms of addictions, for example. I’m a recovering alcoholic. Used booze to numb what felt like a very miserable life. I had to grief the loss of the booze, but focused instead on feeling my feelings and learning to live in my body with any feelings/emotions I may have, own them, express them most appropriately, and move on…oh, an breathe into them (something I was not familiar with). Put all that creativity I used to get and consume liquor, into wholesome activities and learning to be more genuine, true to my values and beliefs. The same does apply, as you state, to loss of relationships, loss of various aspects of health. Channeling the energy in constructive ways, even if it is simply speaking my truth. Thanks for your thought today, Stan.
Glad to have helped. Good luck on your journey.